The Covert Narcissism Podcast

For those of you who have been or currently are in a relationship with a covert narcissist, what are some of the things you thought were totally normal but now realize are not normal?
That relationships are SO incredibly hard, like trying to get water from a rock. Isn’t that the way it is supposed to be?
“Feeling ridiculously anxious when you hear their car pull in and the front door open.” Or when the garage door opens!
“Name calling and screaming!” How did we ever get to the point that we thought this was normal and acceptable?
“Not having access to the bank account” It is NOT normal for a spouse to not have access to the family’s finances. Allowances are for children, not spouses. This is a partnership, not a dictatorship.
 
I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.
Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone? 
Are you searching for people who get it? 
Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do? 
Are you running in circles in your mind?
Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them? 
Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world?
I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com
 Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse
http://www.covertnarcissism.com
https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson
https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson
https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism
 
#Trauma #abuse #gaslighting #narcissism #narcissist #CovertNarcissism #podcast

Welcome to Covert Narcissism Podcast, I’m your host Renee Swanson. This is a safe space where survivors of covert narcissistic abuse find hope, understanding, and healing. Today, this episode is dedicated to you—an affirmation of your strength, resilience, and worth. Take a deep breath, settle into a comfortable space, and let these words remind you of the incredible person you are.
Remember, your worth isn’t determined by what you’ve endured but by the incredible strength you’ve shown in rising above it. Keep moving forward—you are deserving of love, light, and peace. Your healing journey is yours alone, but you are never alone. We see you!
 
I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.
Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone? 
Are you searching for people who get it? 
Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do? 
Are you running in circles in your mind?
Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them? 
Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world?
I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com
 Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse
http://www.covertnarcissism.com
https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson
https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson
https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism
 
#Trauma #abuse #gaslighting #narcissism #narcissist #CovertNarcissism #podcast

This episode is dedicated to everyone who is going through the upcoming holidays with a covert narcissist. As the world sees this “wonderful” person in your life, I see you! I see the pain, the doubt, the confusion, the fear. 
People who have survived this often feel invisible, dismissed, or doubted when sharing their experiences with others. Today, we’re diving into what survivors wish more people understood, and how we can better support those who’ve endured this hidden abuse. Let’s unmask the truth together.
Welcome to the Covert Narcissism Podcast, the podcast where we expose hidden truths and give voice to the survivors of covert narcissistic abuse. I’m Renee Swanson, your host, here to unpack a topic that’s both difficult and necessary—covert narcissism.
Today’s episode is about validation—what survivors wish more people understood, and why the world needs to do a better job in listening, believing, and supporting those who are going through this invisible abuse.
 
I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.
Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone? 
Are you searching for people who get it? 
Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do? 
Are you running in circles in your mind?
Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them? 
Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world?
I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com
 Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse
http://www.covertnarcissism.com
https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson
https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson
https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism
 
#Trauma #abuse #gaslighting #narcissism #narcissist #CovertNarcissism #podcast

I would never have said that abandonment was a concern for me in my marriage. He was never going to leave me. He would never run off with another woman. I knew that he would always be home in the evenings and on the weekends.Other people talked about the issue of abandonment. Some narcissists do run off with affairs. They discard their victim simply to get another one. But that didn’t apply in my situation. So I really didn’t think that abandonment was an issue for me.Until one day, I opened my eyes and realized I was wrong. I was absolutely dealing with abandonment. He abandoned me within our home every single day. He completely isolated himself constantly. He lost himself in video games and movies for hours on end. This was every evening after work, every weekend, every holiday, every vacation, no matter where we were or who we were with. He disengaged from our lives. He checked out completely again and again and again!
I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.
•Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone? 
•Are you searching for people who get it? 
•Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do? 
•Are you running in circles in your mind?
•Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them? 
•Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world?
I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com
Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse
http://www.covertnarcissism.com
https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson
https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson
https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism

Have you ever experienced a covert narcissist trying to make peace? How did that go? Did you walk away feeling better? Or did you walk away feeling like you had just been through hand to hand combat? When a covert narcissist tries to make peace with you, you go through yet another level of destructive interactions. This destruction centers around a facade of sympathy, backwards apologies, intense blame shifting, minimizing their bad behavior, and entitlement in the form of expectations of your forgiveness and "return" to them.
 
We often talk about intimate relationships here. But today I share a story of someone dealing with a covert narcissist at her place of work. In the work environment, dealing with a covert narcissist is extremely difficult and complex. Setting your own boundaries for yourself becomes absolutely necessary.
 
I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.
Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone? 
Are you searching for people who get it? 
Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do? 
Are you running in circles in your mind?
Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them? 
Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world?
I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com
 Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse
http://www.covertnarcissism.com
https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson
https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson
https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism
 
#Trauma #abuse #gaslighting #narcissism #narcissist #CovertNarcissism #podcast

Are guys sometimes victims of covert narcissism? Absolutely! This is not a gender issue.Female covert narcissists are incredibly destructive. In this story, Todd tells his story of dealing with his covert narcissistic wife and how a glance back at his childhood showed how he was primed for this relationship from the beginning.
He was in an abusive marriage and didn’t know it. This behavior and the feelings he was having were normalized from his upbringing, so the red flags didn’t go off. He just accepted it until he just “woke up.”
I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.
Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone? 
Are you searching for people who get it? 
Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do? 
Are you running in circles in your mind?
Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them? 
Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world?
I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com
 Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse
http://www.covertnarcissism.com
https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson
https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson
https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism
 
#Trauma #abuse #gaslighting #narcissism #narcissist #CovertNarcissism #podcast

Absolutely. I haven’t met one yet who is truly happy and content in life. They are grumpy, angry, defensive, hypersensitive, insecure, lazy, unmotivated, full of drama, worked up, and upset.
 
They do not know how to love nor to be loved. They are constantly seeking it and don’t recognize it when it is right in front of them. When they have it, they are so afraid of losing it that they push it away. They do not know how to actually relax and enjoy life. They have no idea how to be in the present moment, much less to enjoy it. They have no peace. In other words, they are already living in hell, and this is their karma, a life devoid of true connection and fulfillment.
 
But what about their victims? I have met plenty of them. These are the individuals who have suffered at their hands. These individuals often come out so much stronger and more resilient on the other side of narcissism. They self-reflect and work on themselves.They quit hiding from who they are, but rather embrace themselves with forgiveness and curiosity. They do the inner work and learn to be present in life. With this self-discovery, the present moment is a treasured part of their life. They have found a piece of heaven.
 
If you haven't found that yet, don't worry! There is nothing wrong with you. It is okay. In this episode, you will learn more steps that you can take to break the trauma bond and propel your journey of healing.
 
I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.
Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone? 
Are you searching for people who get it? 
Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do? 
Are you running in circles in your mind?
Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them? 
Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world?
I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com
 Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse
http://www.covertnarcissism.com
https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson
https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson
https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism
 
#Trauma #abuse #gaslighting #narcissism #narcissist #CovertNarcissism #podcast

In the series of Survivor Stories, Wendy shares her story of a long-term marriage full of betrayal. From very early on, her husband had an affair and left her. She fought for the marriage because she didn’t want her son to grow up in a split home. This happened a second time during their son’s young life. However, the third time he left for an affair, she let him go. 
 
After 30 years of this, it was time to find some healing. She went to a therapist and said:
“I don’t understand. I have all these cards from him that say, “I love you. You are the rock of the family. You’re my best friend. I don’t ever want to live without you. I can’t wait to grow old with you.” All the while he was having affairs. Would you consider this mental abuse? She said, Yes!”
 
Thus began her journey of healing!
 
I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.
Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone? 
Are you searching for people who get it? 
Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do? 
Are you running in circles in your mind?
Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them? 
Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world?
I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com
 Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse
http://www.covertnarcissism.com
https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson
https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson
https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism
 
#Trauma #abuse #gaslighting #narcissism #narcissist #CovertNarcissism #podcast

Grandiose narcissists cross physical boundaries. They overstep normal and healthy boundaries in a physical manner. They hit you, shove you, grab you, or throw things at you. They have no regard for your physical space or safety.
 
Vulnerable narcissists, often referred to as covert narcissists, cross emotional boundaries. They overstep normal and healthy boundaries in an emotional way. They hit you emotionally, blame you, guilt you, or dismiss you. They have no regard for your emotional space or safety.
 
In this episode, Renee gives you 3 simple steps that you can put into place to establish boundaries that work for you. These boundaries are not for them. They are for you!!
 
I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.
Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone? 
Are you searching for people who get it? 
Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do? 
Are you running in circles in your mind?
Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them? 
Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world?
I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com
 Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse
http://www.covertnarcissism.com
https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson
https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson
https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism
 
#Trauma #abuse #gaslighting #narcissism #narcissist #CovertNarcissism #podcast

Everyone dealing with covert narcissism deals with FOG, but Christians have a extra layer of FOG to handle. FOG stands for Fear, Obligation and Guilt. These 3 issues keep a victim of covert narcissism trapped for years and decades. If you add Christianity to this, it becomes nearly impossible to see things clearly.
 
You are already dealing with the fear of your partner's reactions, fear of upsetting them, and fear of abandonment. Add to this the fear of disobeying God and being condemned to hell.
 
You live under the obligation to be loyal and supportive spouse. Add to this the obligation to be submissive and dutiful, plus the obligation to be intimate with a partner who constantly pushes you away.
 
You are overwhelmed with guilt when you fail at all the things you now feel responsible for, such as keeping them satisfied and happy. Add to this the enormous guilt because of how you think and feel about your spouse and because you can't make things better.
 
The Christian perspective certainly adds another layer of FOG to an already dense situation.
 
I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.
Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone? 
Are you searching for people who get it? 
Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do? 
Are you running in circles in your mind?
Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them? 
Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world?
I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com
 Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse
http://www.covertnarcissism.com
https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson
https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson
https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism
 
#Trauma #abuse #gaslighting #narcissism #narcissist #CovertNarcissism #podcast