Thursday Oct 10, 2024

Trauma Bonding Part 1 (Special Throwback Episode)

Why can’t I actually leave this relationship? I want to! I’m tired of being treated this way. I’m tired of the ups and downs. I want stability. I want peace. I want less drama. Why can’t I actually walk away? Why do I keep coming back? Why do I continue to give them another chance, over and over? What is wrong with me? Am I crazy?
If this is you, what you are experiencing is trauma bonding. Trauma bonding keeps us tied to this person, no matter how badly they treat us. How does this work? Trauma bonding occurs when a narcissistic person repeats a cycle of abuse with a target which fuels a need for validation and love from the person being abused. It is a psychological addiction and a survival tactic developed by the victim.
Trauma bonding develops due to a cycle of intermittent rewards and punishments and a conditioning of the victim. The victim, you build hope, eagerly awaiting the next positive time together and a reprieve from the suffering. You do everything in your power to help this to happen, just knowing that it will come. That confidence is there because you do consistently get breadcrumbs of very loving and rewarding moments.
The more you reach out to this covert abuser for love, recognition, comfort, validation, support, reconciliation, or closure, the stronger the trauma bond becomes. The longer period of time or more cycles that you have lived through with this abuser, the stronger the trauma bond is.

I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.

•Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone?

•Are you searching for people who get it?

•Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do?

•Are you running in circles in your mind?

•Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them?

•Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world?

I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com

Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse

http://www.covertnarcissism.com

https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson

https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism

Comments (1)

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Knightshade

I needed to hear this today about being afraid of them playing the victim again. He said that I was ”victim blaming” when I was actually just not backing down and letting him play victim again. He said he was doing some ”self reflection” and realized he was using video games as a coping mechanism (neglecting me in the process) because he felt emotionally abused by ME. When for years, I have been the one emotionally and psychologically abused by him and I told him that this past year. Not cool.

Thursday Oct 17, 2024